Public Discipline
Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT
You are in the market and your child throws the dreaded tantrum, or you are at a play date and your child is being pushy and bossy. If your intervention is done through kindness, then your corrective measure is probably fine in public.
Tips to help guide your child in public when emotions are running high:
- If you find yourself, angry, embarrassed and impatient, take your child aside out of the public view to discuss the situation and how to correct it.
- Disciplining children in public can humiliate, embarrass and anger your child even more. Plus with an audience, she knows how vulnerable you both are.
- Exerting too much control over your child and the situation will only bring on more defiance.
- Take your child aside and softly explain what you see.
- Ask how you can help fix things. If your child is under three years old, then she probably won’t be able to come up with something appropriate - offer empathy, encouragement and a plan.
- If you child is over three years old, she may be able to help with a plan. Always speak matter of factly and let her know you are willing to help.
- Acknowledge her feelings, and set up a plan so everyone’s needs are considered.
- Remember, the more control based parenting you practice, the more resistant and difficult your child will be.
Here’s a formula to remember:
Address Child’s feelings first
State expected behavior
How you will help
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