Sorting Out the SuperNanny… “Why Are We Sooo Passionate About Pacifiers”! By Dr. Ann Corwin Watching & listening to mom as she says, “I’m not doing a really good job” as her eyes are down cast looking extremely ashamed was painful for me. As usual, the Super Nanny begins by berating these parents about their lack of follow through, lack of respect for their house and mom’s need to have her child use a pacifier for “WAY TOO LONG”. When will prime time learn that parents need to feel good about raising their children in order to gather enough strength to get through challenging times? Using a pacifier has nothing to do with a “bad habit” that needs to be broken when kids reach a certain chronological age! Pacifiers are not these evil objects that destroy children’s lives if they have it ‘too long’. Let’s get this straight one more time, kids use pacifiers in order to understand their emotions. It is not the pacifier, but what it represents, which is the child’s ability to feel OK when their parent is not around. So, the sensible solution is to teach children where and when to use their pacifier, not just taking it away. Of course as they get older and understand their emotional relationships better they do not need it as much and they will replace it with something else. The SuperNanny was clever about getting this 4 year old to play the jar game to get rid of the pacifier. But, the problem is she didn’t teach the child what to do when she feels distress since she no longer has the pacifier, which she associates with making herself feel better. How would adults like it if whatever they used to comfort themselves had a time line on it and they had to give it up when they reached a certain age? I’ll tell you adults would NEVER put up with that! Great idea, Super Nanny, to transfer the children’s love of drawing to an appropriate surface like drawing pads instead of the walls! Your promotion of play in all the families you have on the show is also excellent! Last, but not least Super Nanny, could you please consider teaching families that rules are not what you want your kids to stop doing, but what you want them to follow. So don’t post rules that start with the word “NO” or “DON’T” instead state what you want them to do. And, again, let me remind you that picking a ‘spot’ to put your kids for a certain amount of time never changes behavior it just stops it. And please, SuperNanny, stop labeling kids as ‘naughty’ every chance you get, kids are not naughty, they are just experimenting with what works to get time and attention from their parents. Let’s all start respecting children as much as we expect them to respect us, Dr. Ann |
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