Discipline Through Our Relationship With Our Children

Kimberley Clayton Blaine, MA, MFT

There is not one technique or strategy that is going to be the cure-all for when we are disciplining our children.  In fact, we discipline our children all of the time.  Discipline means to teach, and it is through our relationship, through our words, through our tone of voice and through our body language is how we foster cooperation and self-responsibility.

Techniques and common generalizations about why children misbehave only distance us from our children- and actually set children up for failure.  Our children will become what we “label” them.

We want to use challenging moments, the times when we feel our child is being difficult, as a time to bond and get to know him/her better.  If we are there for our child during difficult times of development, then our child learns to trust our motives and us. If we make efforts to empathize with our child and set appropriate developmental expectations, then we won’t need to use any type of strategy or discipline measure at all.

It is through our relationship with our child that brings out the best in him/her.  If you encourage their whole being and believe in his/her potential your child will learn the value of cooperation as each day passes.

Remember, in the blink of an eye, you child will be off to college carrying all the values and messages that you’ve handed down.   It is never too late to be your child’s role model - do you want it to be a negative one or positive one?

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