Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance,
Motivation and Your Inner Diva

Does Mommy Have to Do It All to Have it All?

How many times do you get your fingernails or toes nails cleaned, trimmed and painted pretty pink? Not enough I bet.  How many times a week do you go to the store, do laundry or drive to a job?  I’m sure you have a clear answer for that question.

How did we moms fall into the trap of never-ending errands?  If you dare tell me it comes with the territory, I will scream – loudly.  I have a hard time believing that it’s good practice to encourage or expect moms to do-it-all.  Yes, I believe a mom can “have it all” but not necessarily by doing it all.

What does having it all really mean?  When I think of mom who has it all, I envision a relaxed woman smiling, taking time for herself, while still bringing in a little cash flow to help the family finances.  She may also have some time to go for walk/run or to yoga but still have time to attend her daughter’s soccer game.  She takes care of the family but also makes and demands time to read her romance novel. 

Who said that once we become a mom that we shouldn’t indulge in mommy confidence building moments?  Moms need confidence and balance to be a good parent and wife.  A burnt out mommy is NOT a good thing.  Moms need help more than kids do.  How can a mom care-take her family if she is not taking care of herself?  I’m a real nice mom when I’m not running the rat race.  If I get sucked in to over-scheduling or try to handle too much at once I begin to feel the mean mommy come out.  Who wants a mean mommy? 

I’m not saying to leave your kids home all weekend with daddy so you can go out and party.  Nor am I advocating you enroll your child in preschool so you can watch TV or work out all day.  It’s crucial that moms take a few moments to care-take themselves.  Whether it’s a private bath with no kids running in or taking time to visit the craft store, you deserve it.

Taking time for your self is essential for good mothering.  No one really ever plans on being a martyr-mom.  We all know that in the end that this type of mom will eventually burn out and her children may witness her unravel.  Taking time off from chores, work and family can be very mommy enhancing.  A happy woman makes a happy mom. 

Breaking the Cycle of Mommy Competition Can Help Raise A Mom’s Self-Esteem

Don’t you just cringe when you hear your neighbor say, “My child slept through the night and he’s only six weeks old!” or “Wow, I can fit into my Levi’s now” and she only had her baby a few months ago?  Granted, we all want to be excited for moms who have a fairly easy time with their babies; however, if you are going to do a little bragging of your own (which is a God-given right as a mommy!) follow up by talking about an area in which you are pretty lame.  A perfect mom is hard for anyone to bond with.  We feel we can never live up to that type of mother so we shy away with intimidation. 

However, a mother who is confident and a tad self-deprecating is alluring.  She shows us her strengths as well as her weaknesses, which allows others to bond with her in a non-competitive way.  The more women continue the cycle of female or mommy competition the less chances we have to build a universal female support system. 

Women need women.  Little girls need to be taught to celebrate the successes of other girls while still embracing their differences. If women support other women, and I mean confident women, then our daughters will learn that there is no place for clique-ish, catty behavior and that others who exceed far beyond us shall be applauded. This stance starts in the home and is taught by mothers.

Mommy is Screaming Again!

Geez.  I hate when my son rats on me.  “Why is mommy so mad?” my son asks.

I’ll tell you why mommy goes off the deep end.  I get so caught up in work, managing the household, bills, chores, extra-curricular activities and errands that I don’t plan for mommy-decompression time.

I’m better off yelling, “Mommy Needs A Time Out!” then taking it out on the family.  However, that’s what happens to moms who don’t take a break.  I don’t mean take a break and sit down for minute.  I’m talking about taking several hours off of mommyhood or work to do something that brings back your vitality.

If I can go have lunch with my girlfriend, do a little shopping or get a pedicure then I’m back to feeling like myself.  No one likes to feel run down and ragged -- children shouldn’t see mommy in that state all of the time. 

Our kids shouldn’t always see us in our sweat pants or business suits either.  Let them see you all gussied up looking glamorous and spunky!  When kids see their mom going out and looking nice it gives them the message that mom is a valued member of society.  Wow what a concept, she’s not just a mom?

Need a ‘pick-me-up?’ Read Kimberley Clayton Blaine’s, Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva.  Kimberley is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.

Visit www.MommyConfidence.com