Interview Q & A with Kimberley Clayton Blaine, Author of Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva

Why did you write this book?
I wrote Mommy Confidence as an easy step-by-step guide to help a mom accept all aspects of her mommyhood - whether she is a full-time mom, works outside the home, or is an entrepreneur. There are so many hidden feelings—attitudes that a lot of women have in common about being a mom—but for some reason we don’t share them or verbalize them with each other.

My steps help a mommy get back on track to being her true, authentic self.  The self that most women think they have lost or could probably never attain.  I believe that if all women band together and stop competing we can gracefully transition into motherhood without incorporating all the unrealistic ideals that society has preserved over the years.

Moms often hear they need to cut things out of their schedules to manage life better, but you say something different.  Tell us about that.
Yes, simplifying makes life a lot easier, especially on an over-burdened mommy.  However, I believe moms need to do more than just cut things out.  A well-balanced mom will find more motivation engaging in the things that bring her vitality, if she actually takes the time to do so.  Taking a short break is not enough.  Moms need to actively seek out former self-care activities they used to do before they had children. 

You encourage mothers to fake confidence and you give a very funny example in your book about how you fake it.  How does faking confidence work?
If you keep telling someone something with conviction, over and over again, he or she will eventually believe it.  It’s the concept of brainwashing, but for us I’ll call it brain pampering!  Believe me, it works. I’m my own worst critic.  I find the most beneficial time for me to fake-it is when I find everyday conversations and thoughts are overtaken with self-pity or negativity.  Self-denigration is toxic and stops the body from allowing good energy to flow. 

Apparently you are a type-A mom and are very vocal about how you don’t do things perfectly as a mom, so how did you narrow your steps down to eight?  Do you practice all eight steps yourself?
Yes, I invented the steps!  I consider myself a very confident women, however, I still need resources and a good support system to maintain my mommy well-being.  I often live by the steps especially when I fall off the mommy wagon.  For example, sometimes I get into a slump and need to refresh my mommy soul.  The eight steps are a good place to start.  A mom can add her own steps as well.  All mommies need a “pick-me-up” every now and then or something to motivate her to become a fulfilled woman again -- that’s what the book does.

Your book has some unique advice and an innovative perspective.  For example, you mention that mommy competition can affect a mom’s self-esteem.  Can you tell us more about that?
The more women continue the cycle of female or mommy competition the less chance we have to build a universal female support system.  Women need women.  Little girls need to be taught to celebrate the successes of other girls while still embracing their differences. If women support other women, and I mean confident women, then our daughters will learn that there is no place for clique-ish, catty behavior and that others who exceed far beyond us shall be applauded. This stance starts in the home and is taught by mothers.

By adhering to the concept of “Women as a team” we begin to break the traditional roles for women in the workplace.  Women don’t hire other women in today’s current economy.  Men hire women. I truly believe that once women begin to support one another, then we can move up the corporate ladder more easily and frequently.  If I were a CEO you better bet I’d hire a woman for an executive position!  And if she were a mom it would be even more likely.

The Go-To Mom is a great name.  How did you come up with it?
At first it was kind of a joke.  Many moms call on me -- whether they are looking for the right birthday present, when to start their baby on cheerios, or how to tame the toddler tantrum. So naturally, The Go-To Mom fit.  I knew it was the right title when I was helping my girlfriend register at one of those huge baby super stores, and I found that we had a trail of moms following us around to hear my reviews on the all products.

The Go-To Mom.TV is a webshow for parents with young children and is syndicated on the Internet to a very large audience.  How did you get into that?  Is that your main business?
Yes, my main mission is to educate American parents about the best child rearing practices. The Go-To Mom’s mission is to give parents invaluable information in a short period of time.  I’m a specialist in non-coercive, non-aggressive parenting, and I am a hands-on mom.  I teach moms and dads the basics of parenting through relationship.  Most of us have been taught parenting through coercion which is not only ineffective but is damaging to a child.  I advise parents to review how they were parented, so that they don’t repeat the same mistakes.  From my perspective, parenting through relationship is not a strategy but a philosophy.

Tell us three things that we don’t know about The Go-To Mom.  Charm us.

Kimberley Clayton Blaine is a national parenting expert and a licensed Family and Child Therapist who specializes in working with children ages newborn to six years old. Kimberley is the founder and executive producer of a grassroots webshow, called www.TheGoToMom.TV. Kimberley is a national speaker and teaches Early Childhood Brain Development and Positive Discipline Strategies at UCLA Extension Education Department.

Read Kimberley’s book, Mommy Confidence: 8 Easy Steps to Reclaiming Balance, Motivation and Your Inner Diva. 

Visit www.MommyConfidence.com